According to the rules of registration of horses in Denmark, one must report the horse deceased within 30 days of its passing. That is done by simply printing out a form online and sending in said form and the passport and registration of the horse to LU, the federation registering all horses in DK.
I have not done this before, simply because Poseidon and Amalia were never updated with the new papers, Amalia died before it was required and Poseidon well, died after I should have updated his paper work, but I elected not to, because the horse was very sick at the time. That means that none of the horses were officially registered in my name.
Apollon is, so I had to send in his papers. I checked the rules, and made sure I could get it back if I wanted. There was no way I was going to just hand over all of his paperwork and let some federation immaculate his entire existence. No way, that blue passport of his, that belongs to me. Luckily I was allowed to get it back, once they had unregistered the horse.
I knew that it would come back wearing a stamp, marking the passport as useless, in order to prevent me from using in on another horse. I had no idea what that stamp would say. In my head I imagined it would say something like “diseased” or “unregistered” or “inactive” or simply “dead.”
Which is why it kind of hit me hard this morning when I opened the letter, having Apollon’s passport returned, and it had a big fat stamp across the front page, reading “annulled.”
I got to admit, I did not see that coming. Annulled.
13 years of friendship, life, love, tears, heartache, joy, of sickness, of shows and competitions, of fights and laughs… annulled.
I guess that is how much he meant to the world of horses. Nothing. Everything about this feels so undignified, so horrible emotionless, so cold… this horse was my friend, my baby, my companion and now his life has been officially annulled. That easy, that quickly, that ungraceful.
It’s not that I was expecting or looking for sympathy, Apollon was my horse, he is my loss, but somehow that word is really eating at me. It reflects the world of horses so perfectly. There is just no place in this world for a useless horse and no one mourns the ones that do not make it. No one cares. Horses are put down all the time. Apollon actually lived to be one of the elder ones in Denmark, as horrible as that might sound with his 13 years. And still, I can’t help but feel that the federation that register all these horses could do a little better, could feel a little less like a well oiled money making machine.
This was not a toy, this was not a piece of sports equipment, this was not a membership to the local club. This was his life, his pedigree, his passport, his vaccinations, his medical history… this was his identification papers.
Annulled. Ladies and gentlemen, Apollon DK LU 99410, is not registered as diseased. He has been annulled.
It is going to take me a bit of time to let that go…