I spoke with my editor the other day, I just forgot to write about it. She is almost done with the second book in the Starstone Series by now, The Twins, so it will be released within a month, I guess, depending on how quick we are with the cover design and how fast I can read it through again, making sure she has not changed anything she wasn’t supposed to change, while comparing the edited version of it to some of the notes I got from my sister when she read it.
But, the funny part about talking to my editor was actually that she looked me right in the eye and said, “You’re evil.”
I must say, I love hearing that. Not that I aim for being evil, but I love it that I am able to provoke that kind of response from a grown woman. I understand why my books may be aimed mostly at teenagers, but here is a woman turning 60 soon and she was so deeply affected by this book that she said to me that she had to put it away for a while, because it was simply too painful to read. (She is translating it to Danish as well, so she has to write it too, which kind of drags out the process a bit, forcing her to dwell on every word.) I almost jumped for joy, hearing her say that.
So, yes, I guess that does make me evil.
I know I can be a cruel writer, sometimes I find it very hard to write certain passages in my books, I always pour a lot of emotion into it, and I absolutely love and adore each and every one of my characters.
What my editor found to be evil, was not one of the passages I had expected. I remember having a great deal of fun, writing that particular part. I remember feeling slightly vindictive at the time, and of course I knew it might be a bit cruel, but I never imagined that part to be painful for the reader. I love how different the human mind works, depending on who you are, and I love that I am able to touch people without really trying.
At the same time, it was bound to make me think. Getting a response like that is fantastic, because I never expected it. I mean, most of the time I know exactly how people are going to respond, when my sister (she is my test reader,) is going to come after me with an axe or stop talking to me for weeks, and when she is going to forgive me. This was a very new reaction, and I can only learn from it.
I have always been fascinated by the human mind and human behavior, by what moves different people, and how they react to it. I always considered myself a quiet observer of my fellow man, the kind of person that is able to hide in a corner and watch and learn. The kind of person that people usually talk to easily, because I make sure not to judge and to always smile. That might sound a bit calculating on my part, but let’s face it. I am. I could not have a character like Thalid, or Cazal, in my books if I wasn’t like that, just a little bit.
Mostly, it is a self defense though. I am a very frail person in many ways. I like to know people before I let them know me. It is far easier for me to handle the world that way. I have not grown up with my troubled horses without learning how to cope with this world and how to always be wary of strangers.
So here I was, thinking I knew how people would respond to this book, and I was completely blindsided. So much for my ability to anticipate the human mind. I guess I still have a lot to learn. And I love it.