Face book is a bit of a never ending cause for amusement… I mean, I have a lot of friends who have applied for friendship and who never talk to me. To be honest, if they did, I’d be in trouble, because there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day for me to talk to everyone of them, but still… I kind of figured that when strangers asked for my friendship it was because they were interested in some small way, in my writing. I usually accept people’s friendship requests.
Why? Because it’s nice to meet new people and you never know if one of them is going to be a very good friend in time. Mostly, they just fade though, become one of many, that never interact with you.
Someone like me, I have a lot of HIM fans on my friend list as well, and honestly they can be very confusing to keep track off, because a lot of them call themselves Ville or Valo or use a picture of Ville as their profile picture, making them blend even more into the sea of strangers on my friend list.
I honestly don’t have too many “real life” friends on face book. I mean, yes sure, there are about a hundred people I actually know, some of whom I went to school with, some I know through the various stables I have worked at, some I know through music, but most of them I never talk to and I am pretty sure they never check in on what I am up to.
It goes to show, quite clearly when you set up an event, like the one I just ran for the release of The Twins. (I wasn’t asking anyone to buy the book, I would never ask that of my friends, I had set up the Hand of Fate for free, as a promotion of the new book in the series and asked people to share.) Most of the people that joined in that event were not “real life” friends. They were the ones I actually talk to on face book, the ones that take an active interest in what I do, or simply in me, from all over the world.
It always surprises me when people I have never met, helps me share my links, help me spread the word about my books, and all in all, are willing and ready to spend their time and energy on helping me out when I need it. One of my online friends even offered to help me set up a professional website- not the wix one- with a domain name and all. I am astounded by that kind of commitment and passion.
And at the same time, a little unimpressed with most of my “real life” friends. Those who couldn’t even bother to press “join” on the event. I mean, I am eternally grateful for how many people are backing me up here, but for some of the friends I actually see in real life on a regular basis, to be so ignorant about something so important to me, is kind of an eye opener.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect my friends to spend their time sharing links, promoting my books, and working for me for free, of course not. It was never about that.
I do expect them to support me though, because that is what friends do, isn’t it? These books are ME in every possible way, and if they can’t be bothered with them at all, it kind of makes me think that the entire basis for our relationship is very thin.
Of course, I could just ask them to help me out, but I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to ask them to share, or to say nice things about my books, or to write reviews for me… I kind of want them to want to do that. I don’t want to be that pushy kind of writer. I shouldn’t really have to. My real life friends should know how important this is to me, all of it. They should care, just a little bit… At least they should, if we really are friends.
To be fair, some of them do. The same few, every time. But mostly, I keep being surprised by relative strangers and how eager they are to join in and then again, once I start looking into it, it is always the same handful as well.
So maybe people are just very different. Some people don’t mind spending their time helping out a friend, some people understand how much it matters and others just don’t.
I know this girl from India, (online friend) she is amazing in every possible way, she keeps asking how it is going with the books, how many were downloaded for free and how The Twins are holding up after having been released.
I know this young man from the US, (online friend) and he is fantastic as well, he keeps writing to me and telling me about his life and his music- turns out we have a lot of things in common other than my books. He even asked me if he could read some of my poetry at school. That is so nice, because of course he can, I published it, he didn’t have to ask, but the fact that he does, is just such a positive thing for me. Not that he felt that he had to ask permission, but more that he actually told me that he wanted to use it. That is amazing. That is really what every author wants, to be read.
Those are really the kind of friends I cherish. The kind that reaches out from across the world and takes the time to get to know a strange little girl from Denmark.
I went through my friend list today, on Face Book, deleting about 130 people, most of them with some kind of HIM related name of picture, that I had never ever talked to, and never had a reason to talk to at all. At some point, if you get too many of those “dead” friends on your profile, they tend to block out the ones you want to keep up with, and I could end up being one of those “dead” friends myself, to someone I wouldn’t want to lose. I am pretty sure that most of the people that I deleted, won’t notice that I am gone at all.
But just in case I deleted someone who wanted to stay in touch, then I apologize and please feel free to add me again!
I must admit, as I went through my friend list, looking over names and faces, I did pause with quite a few of my “real life” friends as well, wondering if they would ever notice, or care, if I pressed “unfriend.”
Friendship is an odd thing. To me, people who add me through a social media and never talk to me at all, are not really a friend, even if our status says that we are friends. Then again, some of my very best friends turn out to be online ones when push comes to shove.
I will never understand the mind of most of my fellow men, and I really do believe that I was born to live on a deserted island with my horses and my writing and never take part in the world, but then again… Who would support me, surprise me, and disappoint me then?
To anyone who feel offended by this, let me say it once again… this is MY blog, this is how I feel, and if I can’t write about it here, sorting through my messed up emotions, and thoughts, I won’t be able to let it go, any of it, so bear with me.
And once again, to all of you who always stand by me, no matter what I come up with, THANK YOU!