The Twins- And Writing

I received The Twins in the mail a few days ago, I just haven’t got around to write about it yet. One could argue that it may not be a big deal, I mean, it’s the second book.

In every possible way, it’s the second book.

The second book in the series, the second book I’ve released, (not counting my poetry collection,) it’s just… over shadowed by the fact that when I released The Hand of Fate, people, those who know me, thought it amusing that I had written a book. Those who don’t know me personally, most of my online friends found it exciting to ‘know’ an author.

This time though, we all know I’m a writer, I write fantasy and there will be three more books in the series, other than The Hand of Fate and The Twins. Fantastic, I can already hear some of them yawning, rolling their eyes behind my back and if any of you who read my blog feels the same way, I apologize but releasing The Twins are not something ordinary to me. I have to acknowledge it.

Releasing the second book in the series that are my life’s work, should be exciting and it is. I love it that two of my books are out now, that two parts of my story has got a life, a cover and a physical shape, they are not just a document on my computer, or an idea in my head anymore. They are standing on my book shelf, between the books I love the most, looking every bit as real as the Dragon Lance and the Lord of the Rings and the Harry Potter books they share space with.

I am, greedy as I am, always wanting more, looking forward to the day when all five of them are going to be standing there, no doubt knocking a few of the Dragon Lance books off the front row on my shelf to make space.

Thing is, I haven’t even had the money to buy the Danish version on The Hand of Fate, Skæbnens Hånd, yet and one could argue, why would I want it? I wrote it in English, I only edited the Danish version. So no, I don’t need it. I may be vain to want it, but honestly, how cool is it to have a book released in two languages? At the risk of sounding vain, I really want that standing on my shelf as well.

At the moment, I am, as you can see on the previous post, writing on a fantasy book- not related to The Starstone Series- with Noel Heart, , I try to pick up my Natural Horsemanship book again, and I am busy editing the Danish version of The Twins, so yes, there will be other posts about it, simply because the release of the Danish versions are almost as big a deal to me as are the English ones.

Why? Because another language opens the story to a new audience. Most Danish people does not want to read English. Most of my friends, when they heard that I had released a book, instantly asked if it wouldn’t be out in Danish? Of course they could just be saying that, so they didn’t have to read it.  I’m not making anyone read my books, but yes, it will be out in Danish. The whole series will.

At the moment, my editor and my translator are working their way through the third book, hopefully I can release it later in the year, in two languages, depending on how fast we move.

But first things first, holding The Twins as a paperback in my hands are a huge thing for me, and I just had to write a bit about it.

I must mention that I have bought the Danish version of The Hand of Fate, I have held it in my hands, and I have checked it out and made sure that it prints okay, I just had to give it away, because my grand mom wanted it and I couldn’t afford to buy two…  Got to love how I can always drown in vet bills…

Hopefully now, that I am getting ready to release The Twins as a paperback in Danish, I will be able to buy both of them… But well, you never know. I do know that I am not letting go of my version of The Twins. The English books are mine to keep. I really love this story, and every word in them are mine.

I can even throw in a picture of a pair of twins that inspired the story, a long time ago. A picture of two young girls, one strong, one weak, one able to fit in and accept society, and one, always on the outside looking in. A picture of a pair of childhood friends that grew apart and even if they never really fought each other, just walked away and never spoke again.

the twins

I nearly used that picture, or a drawn version of it as the cover, just because it is so special to me. It tells a story of its own, a story of youth and innocence and hope. A story we all know had to be ruined in time. So here we are now, with the cover. Grown up, no longer facing each other, turned away from the world, looking at a dark sun, no longer even friends.

Cover - The Twins

I know I have said it before, but every character in these books is a shade of me. How could they not be? They all came to life in my head and even if some of them turn out to be twisted in ways I never had imagined when I first met them, even if some of them escape my control as a writer- okay they all got their own life and ran off with me- the basic of their personas are still, fundamentally a shade of me or of someone I have been close to in time.

Which reminds me of a picture I came across on Face Book once, saying something like, “warning, author at work, bystanders might be written into the story…” True. As a writer, we write what we know.

I realize that not all writers have such a personal relationship with their characters, but I do and I have been feeling miserable since I finished writing the last book in the series. I really, really miss them all. Editing the books, I am only a bystander, getting a chance to run through their lives one last time and as much as I love that, even more did I love the honor of being part of the story, of writing it down and letting them develop.

I have not let them go in my head, the ones who survived The Starstone Series. My crazy little mind are still toying with the idea of picking up their lives again, of taking them in an entirely different direction, of doing something completely new with them… basically, my mind are working overtime, desperately trying to keep me in their lives. I know I should leave them alone now, I know I should walk away and I hope I will. I’m just not sure I can. They have been part of me for so many years now. It feels like breaking up with a lover, like losing part of yourself.

But that was not what this post was about. The Twins is now standing on my book shelf. That was what I wanted, wasn’t it? The story written and published?

Of course it was. It always was. I am just kicking and screaming a little, to let go and move on with my life, to pick up my natural horsemanship book and write another story that always needed to be told. The story of Poseidon, My Heart, My Soul, My Star, My Endless Night. I was busy writing it last year and it was really shaping up. I even let my editor read it, testing if I could write something that wasn’t fantasy or poetry. It came back with a good response. I was just introducing the young Apollon to the story, trying not to hang on to too many of his childhood illnesses, when Apollon crashed and burned and died within a month, leaving me heartbroken and realizing that writing his part of the story, I had to include all of his sickness. I had to relive it all. I had to make the reader understand why this horse died at the age of 13, of something that most horses do not even get symptoms from.

So far, I haven’t been able to do that. I keep staring at the document, telling myself that now that both Poseidon and Apollon are gone, the story needs to be told even more.

I will. I promise guys.

I just need to finish editing The Twins in Danish. And maybe write a short story for that “writers of the future” competition. And of course keep working on The Kiss, the Dragon and the Werewolf with Noel. I know I am putting it off, but I think I need to right now. I never meant for My Heart, My Soul, My Star, My Endless Night to be a sad book. I mean, it’s honest. I am not using anyone’s names, but the things I have seen in the world of horses, needs to be told. The violent abuse Poseidon suffered, needs to be addressed. I can do that without hanging anyone out to dry, because this story are not a story of evil people, or of how the little girl got a crazy horse and mended it and became a champion.

This is a story of fighting, every single day, to escape what was done to Poseidon. This is a story of how much commitment you need to make a horse like that live, of how much passion, love, and hope you need to keep going. This is a story of how it CAN be done to turn a horse like that, a severely damaged one, into a horse than can lead an almost ordinary and happy life. No, it won’t be a sad book. I won’t let it. Because, cruel as his life was, he was happy too, most of the time. So was Apollon. I will remember that when I write it. Which means that I do need to put it off for a little while longer. I need to be able to tell the story of Apollon without crying, before I pick it up again.

It’s a good thing I know how to keep busy then, until I get there. Right now, before this turns into a short story itself, I better get on my bike and venture into the storm to take care of my horses. Hopefully I will finish editing Tvillingerne (The Twins,) tonight and set it up for sale in a few days. The cover has been ready since we made the cover for the English version. So all we are waiting for is me, once again.


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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