Emotional Affairs

I have been wondering a bit, about whether or not I should write about the training Saleem and I was at the other day, but I think I am reaching the conclusion that for the first time, I should not. At least not until I’ve thought it over and decided what to make of this girls training methods… I have been emailing her back and forth a bit, because I must admit, she left me feeling very much like it wasn’t “positive training” at all.

Anyway, Saleem handled himself well, loaded easily into the trailer and saw his first hall. He was calm and collected and patient the entire day, the perfect little gentleman, and I couldn’t be happier about him. Let’s just leave it at that, for now.

So, changing the subject completely, I will dive headfirst into another touchy subject.

A (girl) friend of mine started a new job a while back, and since then, I have hardly seen her. She kind of moved away, to be closer to her job and… she found a new best friend.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not jealous. In fact, I think it’s cool that she has found someone she can talk to about anything, someone that makes her wake up early every morning, just so they can be together before work, someone she can call, and who calls her, at all hours of the day when they are not together…

In fact, the only “down side” to this guy, is that he is gay, otherwise I am pretty sure they would have made the perfect couple. Not that I am saying that they are in love, I don’t think they are, but at some point, “friendship” is no longer the right word. At some point, when you can’t live or breathe or open your mouth without talking about, or to each other, it does become an emotional affair, even if it is never about sex.

In many ways, I think that he is the perfect match for her. Actually a much better match than I ever was, if I must be realistic. I am far too self centered to always be available. I am far too keen on spending time with my horses, and on writing on my books, to ever be able to give her my undivided attention. My head is always, partly, somewhere else, where as I believe that this guy, he is there.

She has been happy, since she has met him. Much happier than I have ever known her to be. Of course I don’t see her much these days and if she has had some low points, it wouldn’t be me she would cry to anymore, but there is a sincerity to her smile I haven’t seen in her before.

From what she tells me off him, he does sound like the perfect girlfriend, and I do not mean that in any negative way at all. At her birthday, he straightened her hair and helped her get ready, and look awesome… things I could never do. At her birthday, I was busy causing a lot of drama in the world of horses, by posting those pictures I took at the Danish Championship in Dressage online… I guess they are just able to give each other exactly what they need from a friend. Undivided attention.

Still, heartless as I am, I find it interesting to watch them push the boundaries of friendship and redefine what love means, really, because it seems that is what they are doing. I can’t help but wonder though, how this will play out in the end. Are they going to go the distance? Are they still going to be together in five, ten, twenty years? Is it really friendship, or is it a deep infatuation, and will it fade in time?

I know, I am a cynic. I never believe in love or in the human heart. I hope its friendship. I hope they will stick together forever. Still, the writer in me must wonder.

I always wonder what makes people fall in love, what makes people become friends, what makes people stick together through good times and bad.

Emotional affairs are tricky. You are usually the last to realize that you are in one.

Unless you have a dirty little writer-friend, ratting you out online… Sorry about that darling, just don’t answer and no one will ever know who I am talking about…


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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