A day should have more hours… I mean, even if I only sleep like 8 hours a day, I am still short of time, always. (Trust me, 8 hours is not much for me, I could easily sleep 10-12 hours a day if I had the time.)
There are just so many things I want to do. Today, my band and I have been recording one of our songs. That kind of took most of the day, leaving me rather stressed out about not having time enough for my horses. So as soon as we stopped recording, I ran off to the stable and enjoyed the last few hours of sunlight, grooming the horses, kissing the foal, very important stuff like that.
I didn’t have time to ride or train any of them, and I had to take care of my friend’s three horses as well. Luckily she has got a stable, with electric light- technically I do to, I just never use it- so I could groom her horses after dark, but I didn’t get to train them either.
My writing is at a complete stand still these days, as I try to make room for our music again, without failing the horses…
I always feel like there is something I don’t get to do. You can’t really compromise the time spent grooming and feeding and tending the horses, I wouldn’t want to either, but it does bother me when I don’t have time to train the youngsters, or ride Saleem…
And it bothers me when I don’t have time to write, both on my sci-fi book, The Legacy, and on the fantasy book I am writing with Noel Heart, The Kiss, The Dragon and The Werewolf. Writing is as much who I am, as anything else, and I would like it to have an equal part in my life, alongside my horses.
Enter our band and our music. I have always been playing music, I love singing with the girls, I love the sound of our voices when we do our three part harmony stuff… I don’t think I could live without music either.
Yes, I need more hours every day, so I can do it all. Be everything, I need to be. Focus on our music when we play, and not worry about not getting to ride Saleem… Sit down and write once I get home, instead of cooking and doing laundry and sleeping…
So, now I am taking a short break to update my blog, just so I get to write something, however unimportant, and tomorrow I will focus on my horses. They say it’s going to rain, so maybe I won’t get to ride tomorrow either, but then at least I maybe get some writing done… you never know.
Still, I have been singing our song all day, the song we recorded, and it feels really good to finally put it together and turn it into a real piece of music that someone else might get to hear some day. This particular song is one we have been playing for the last, I don’t know, fifteen years. It’s great. It deserves to be heard.
And I know, you can’t do it all. It’s just that… I have three things in my life, I live and breathe for. My horses, my writing and my music. I am not prepared to let any of it go. So, at the moment, I am compromising my writing quite a bit and as much as I hate that, recording our music is worth it.
And now, as I must remember to breathe, I will find something to eat for dinner, pet the cat and watch a few episodes of Monk, the latest TV series I am watching with my boyfriend. You may have noticed how he didn’t even figure into the three important things in my life anywhere amongst the horses, the writing and the music, and of course, that is unfair. It’s just that our relationship is one of the things that are easily taking a back seat to everything else.
As I came home this evening and turned on the computer to write this stupid blog update, it wouldn’t start. I had to reboot it twice. That can’t be good… So if I disappear all of a sudden, it’s just because on top of everything else, my computer has crashed…
That thought is kind of freaking me out, much more than not having time enough for writing. Imagine not being able to write because you didn’t have a computer… oh no, please hang in there, old friend. (Quickly backing everything up on my extern hard drive and emailing all of my books to myself…) Don’t die on me. Not just yet.
So, I guess that every problem you may have, such as not having enough hours in a day, can quickly be overshadowed by an even greater one. It’s all about perspective. I learned my lesson, dear computer. I’ll stop complaining now.
I’ll even try to keep that promise, just don’t die. Pretty please.