That Hollow Feeling

I have no idea what this is, or why this is, but it’s David Tennant and Catherine Tate, and even better, it’s David Tennant with long hair and makeup… Sorry, I can’t help but find that adorable.

Just trying to get into the Halloween spirit here. Not doing too well, I now. But it was a little funny, you got to admit that…

This Song, my poetry collection, is still free to download today, Follow the link;

Cover Small - this songIMG_8240

What I am really doing is trying not to freak out over the fact that my boyfriends income has, yet AGAIN been messed up, so we are missing half of our income… Wupidu, not a problem, we learned last month how to survive on nothing. No wait…

And what I am really trying to do, is not asking the owner of this perfect little mare, if she wanted to trade it for one of my saddles… you never know, she might say yes, I got Tardis that way.

Thing is, this mare, she is grey, I always wanted a grey mare, she is an Anglo Arabian, with a perfect pedigree, her father is a stallion I always loved, she has got the right size, and she is four years old this year. All in all, she is just like my Apocalipse, only grey and a mare. How can I not fall in love with that?

There are a few draw backs though, there always is. She was in an accident last year, breaking one of her tendons, thus being sold at a very low prize, and for breeding only. I got to say, I am not scared off by that. To be honest, tendons usually heal in time…

The worst part is that she is pregnant. I cannot bring her home. That’s not just a perfect mare, it’s a mare and a foal. I cannot buy two more horses. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Even if the father of the unborn foal is another stallion I always adored.

I really should stop looking at sales adds. I keep looking her up, everyday, just to see if she is gone. It’s a strange kind of horror, looking up a horse like that, every day. On one hand, you are utterly relieved when she is not sold yet, and on the other, you are a little bit disappointed. If she would just be gone, I could tell myself that she would live happily ever after and I could stop torturing myself over her.

There is a pony too, I’ve been keeping an eye on for six months by now. A beautiful little palomino pinto, one year old… I know I am not going to convince my boyfriend that we need another pony, and her sales add keep running out, so I have got over her about a thousand times over the last six months. Still, she keep popping up again, with new pictures, just developing into such a picture perfect pony…

I need to be rich soon… So many horses out there, that should come live with me…

I’ll stop complaining now, I’ll go take care of my horses now, I should ride Saleem, we have got a show this Sunday and I’ve hardly been riding him because of the storm, Marble’s abscess, and his teeth checkup… I’ll even try to stop feeling so hollow inside every time I look at my pasture. No grey mare or palomino pony is going to fill the hole left behind by Poseidon, Apollon, Amalia and Legacy.

The ones I do have are perfect, I shouldn’t ask for more. I don’t. I just can’t seem to drown out that hollow feeling, left by four of the strongest personas I have ever known, suddenly disappearing, almost at once.

Does it ever go away?


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
This entry was posted in Horses, Poetry/ Songs /Art and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to That Hollow Feeling

  1. I wish I could say yes, but honestly I don’t think so.. Still every time someone is sitting in my fathers chair I feel a kick in my stomach. When I for a short second thought that Lise’s main was missing I instantly felt tears pressing on my eyes..

    And no matter how perfect the living ones are, I think it’s natural to miss and feel hollow. I know I still do..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s