Even Google….

Okay so, even Google is celebrating the 50ties anniversary of Doctor Who. That is pretty darn cool. I even made it through the game, which is really awesome for me, because I tend to panic while faced with such games… Okay so my time sucked and I got exterminated quite a few times- even deleted once, bloody cybermen, but all in all, a very positive game experience and it will only drive you a little crazy…

Look out for the Weeping Angels…

doctor who 50

Speaking of positive experiences, I totally drove the scooter home by myself today. Yep, first time on the road and I didn’t freak out or anything… Okay a little, but no one was there to see it so it hardly counts…

Thing is, since I got run down a few years back, for the second time, I’ve had some issues with traffic and things that move on their own, AKA cars and tractors and well, scooters. Which is totally insane, I know, because they really don’t move by themselves at all. So, what I really have a problem with, I guess, are the people behind the wheel.

Give me a horse, any horse. I know how to handle that. Anytime.

I remember the first weeks after the last accident, I was crying myself to sleep, more or less, every night, just from thinking about having to get out on my bike the next morning. I swear, if it hadn’t been for Poseidon and Apollon, the two horses only I could handle, my two lifesavers, I would have never left the house again.

I am still rather terrified to go through streetlights, on foot as well as on bike, and if there is a car in front of me signaling that it is going to turn, I can’t go ahead, even if it is supposed to hold back for me. Hell, even being a passenger in a car has me rather shaken quite often.

I am pretty stunned by my own reaction. I always considered myself rather cool when it came to stuff like that. I have been in so many near fatal accidents with the horses over the years that I have lost count, and I have never once cried myself asleep, fearing to face a horse the next day. So why this response to being run down on a bike? I didn’t even get that banged up. I mean sure, I was picked up in an ambulance and stuff, but I walked out of the E.R. later that same night on my own. (The second time, that is. The first time, the driver just picked up me and my bike and parked us on the sidewalk and said, “You look fine,” and drove off. I had hit my head then, and didn’t really realize what was happening.)

I honestly can’t tell. Maybe it is the helplessness of suddenly finding yourself on the windscreen of a car, completely at the mercy of the driver and her reactions. “If she stops now, I’ll live. If she is doesn’t, chances are I won’t.” Yeah, you have time to think that. You have all the time in the world, in a second like that.

I believe it is the helplessness. No matter how out of hand things have got with the horses once in a while, I have always had a fighting chance. I have always been able to argue with the horse, or to do something else. Anything, not just wish that someone else will save my life. And somehow I guess, I made a choice a long time ago, when I decided to keep Poseidon in my life. Some things are worth dying for. Getting run down by some idiot, in a street light, that is just not how I want to go…

I got a driving license for tractors many years ago. I didn’t like driving it then, it was huge, and difficult to navigate and heavy to move about, but I wasn’t terrified.

Last summer I tried briefly to drive a tractor again. I can’t. The second it moves- I know, I make it move, but it doesn’t matter- I panic and let go of everything. (Clever, ha?)

So for me, picking up that scooter today, driving it all the way home, all by myself, trusting the mirrors and all, now that is pretty huge. I maintain that I am going to be very happy about this scooter, once I get over myself. I just hope it won’t take too long.

In the mean time, I’ll enjoy my new awesome chair- yep got a work chair for my computer- and try not to play that Doctor Who game all night. I have got better things to do. I really have. In a moment I’ll get back to writing on my book… Any minute now…


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
This entry was posted in Horses, Reviews, Short Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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