On Their Own

We took Saleem and Tardis for a walk today. Oh yeah, we left Ablaze home “alone” with Apocalipse and Marble. Imagine that, the three little ones, on their own.

Thing is, now that Tardis and Ablaze are both growing older, I would want very much to be able to take Tardis for walks more often. She needs a lot of basic muscle structure, and the best way to build up a horse is by walking it. I have so far held back on that because she was pregnant when she came to me and since then, because she had a foal.

Ablaze is amazing though. He doesn’t mind that we take his mother at all. The other day when we walked Tardis and Marble, Ablaze cried a bit, but he hung out with Saleem and was overall okay with it. I think we were gone for ten minutes tops. Today though, I took both the “old ones” at the same time, both the alfa male and the beta mare. I know, I shouldn’t be doing that, but Tardis and Saleem are the eldest on my pasture and they are the ones I want to be in training, however light, at the moment.

I did worry that Marble would kick up a storm about it, and thus give Ablaze a bad experience. Marble is very attached to Saleem and it has been a big problem in the past, to remove him from the pasture without causing her to turn up running along the fence, soaked in sweat, in an instant. It does seem that we are over that though. Marble and Ablaze both looked to Apocalipse and when he didn’t freak out, they didn’t either.

Once again, I am so proud of my wonderful Apocalipse. Only the son of Amalia and Saleem could turn out that reasonable…

As far as walking Saleem and Tardis, they were awesome, Tardis in particular. She really wants to work. She is so cool, so happy, so… straight forward, I can’t believe that she is for real. We met a lot of cars, we took her past the very dangerous part of the road, if you ask Saleem, where there are drawn white lines on the pavement, (imagine that, the horror!) and she didn’t flinch, not even when Saleem tried to tell her that said white strips would absolutely bite her leg of if she touched them…

We came home to three calm youngsters, Ablaze didn’t even bother to say hello to his mom when she was returned to the pasture, and Apocalipse only sounded a little insecure when he called us in greeting. He is only three years old. Just a baby. Once in a while, he does sound like it, even though he tries to be grown up most of the time. He managed Ablaze and Marble when he had to, but he was quite happy to see the “parents” return… Even if you won’t hear him admit it…

So I am thinking I am going to make my boyfriend ride Saleem one of these days, while I try riding Tardis for our very first trip outside the comfort of home. Never mind that the horse is hardly broken in and that I haven’t ridden her at all for the last… is it two or three months (?), because of the constant rain. Yeah, I have been lazy. One could argue that with such a raw horse, it is not advisable to take it riding on the road, but I must admit, I trust her. Tardis has proven me wrong every single time I have expected her to blow up in my face. She is a fantastic horse. Not much else to say.

I am twisting and turning a little here though. One of the horses I trained a few years back, has been set up for… lone. His owner can’t seem to find the melody with him, and the people she has had help her since I stopped has not found it either… I am a bit stumped by that, since I never really saw him as a problem, but then again, I guess I have worked with much worse in my time.

Thing is though, she is now willing to let someone lone him on the condition that he is trained correctly, well taken care of and so forth… basically, for the right home, he can be picked up, free of charge, the only snag is that you can’t get your name on his papers, thus preventing the new “owner” from selling the horse. I understand that, I really do. He could easily end up being tossed from one home to another, no one really bothering to take the time to “fix” him. I can understand perfectly well why she would want to keep track on him at all times and I respect her decision to try and find a new home for him, with someone who could maybe “click” with him better than she did.

So here I am, kicking myself, trying not to call her. Thing is, it always bothered me about that horse. I really, really liked working with him. He was very sensitive and very trusting, from where I stand.

I just can’t… bring him home. I can’t. He is HUGE, body as well as persona. I have a foal to consider. It’s winter. If I bring him home now, I run the risk of him beating up my youngsters, leaving them outside in the snow and rain for the rest of the winter. Or, of my youngsters beating up him, leaving him outside. It takes time to introduce a new horse to a gang, the way I keep my horses, and doing so in mid winter is just not… smart.

Had it been summer, I wouldn’t have found it a problem. So what if it took a month or two for all of them to get to know each other, and to be able to live together in the same house? If it were summer, they wouldn’t need the houses. As it is, I can’t run the risk of having my foal potentially getting kicked out in mid winter. I can’t bring him home now.

And I must admit, that whole part about loaning the horse… I wouldn’t want to do that. I don’t want a horse on my pasture that is not registered in my name. I want to know that no previous owner is ever going to show up and take back the horse, because let’s be real. Any “lone contract” would fade next to having your name on the horse’s papers. Whoever has her name in those papers, owns the horse, and no matter what contract might be drafted for the lone, to ensure me that she wouldn’t reclaim the horse, would be impossible to enforce. Her name, her horse. She could, technically, pick it up at any time. I could spend the next five years training this horse and then she could easily bring it home, once it was safe.

I don’t think she would. Still, the uncertainty would be killing me. I could never “own” a horse that way. So, I am not going to. I am not. But it is killing me a little…

If I had a lot of money and a lot of space on my pastures, I think I would have offered her to buy the horse a year ago, even though she didn’t want to part with it then. That kind of allowed me to walk away from him then, knowing that she didn’t want to let him go. Now though, I am finding it very hard to walk away.

But I guess I am going to have to. It couldn’t possibly work out. I’ll keep telling myself that.

Sometimes, I even believe it.


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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