That Broken Tooth Again….

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to knowing that Saleem has a broken tooth. I had hoped that having the vet check up on it last month, and finding nothing wrong, would have eased my mind a bit, but truth is, it didn’t.

Looking back, to before the tooth broke, Saleem has always been a bit of a troubled eater. I have had his teeth checked two times a year and there has almost always been issues, or even wounds on the inside of his cheeks, once the vet opened his mouth. At times, even though he had just been checked, he would have moments where he wouldn’t eat, for unexplained reasons. For an hour or two, he would simply hang back, refusing to open his mouth, until he suddenly seemed to get over whatever it was, and ate as if nothing was wrong.

He has been driving me crazy with this behaviour before he broke his tooth, he has, but still…

Knowing that he HAS a broken tooth, is killing me. Every time he doesn’t eat as fast as he should, or if he spits out some rolled up hay balls while eating, or if he is simply not too hungry and can’t be bothered, I am about ready to fall apart.

The last two days, he has been strange at the evening feeding. At morning he has been eating perfectly normally, but the last two evenings, he has seemed, disinterested, he has been spitting out hay balls and he has been chewing a bit funny. I have been staring my eyes out at him, sniffing around his mouth, wondering if the broken tooth has become infected.

He doesn’t smell bad from the mouth. And he eats in the morning. Why then, does he seem unhappy at the evening feeding time? And does he? Or am I just driving myself insane?

I keep asking myself one question. If money was not an issue, what would I do? Am I not driving him to a hospital, because of the huge bill that will be waiting down that road, or am I honestly keeping him at home because I don’t think he would survive the sedation? What if I had all the money in the world, would I take that chance on his behalf then?

Saleem has had some very bad reactions to sedation in the past. I truly dare not hospitalize him. I fear that my chances of bringing him back home again are too small. I don’t think he can recover from the sedation, if he needs to be put under, have his jaw broken and the tooth operated out through his cheek. And should he survive, that is a LOT of pain he needs to go through in recovery afterwards.

The answer is no. Even if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn’t have hospitalized him unless I absolutely had to. I drove home from the stable today, crying all the way, terrified that if he doesn’t start eating normally again, at evenings as well, I WILL have to… And I just don’t know if he can survive it. I am scared senseless that the broken tooth will get infected and I will have my hand forced. I will chose to operate. I will fight for him all the way, if I must, I know that in my heart, but at the moment, I do believe I am doing the one thing I know I can, to help him survive the best. Nothing.

But for how long can I do that?

I know a lot of horses who has lived with a broken tooth, or a missing tooth, and never had problems with it. My old Pikant had a missing tooth and it never bothered him. My lovely mare Amalia had a broken tooth and it was never infected in the 14 years I had the privilege of knowing her. Why then, do I have such a terrible feeling about Saleem? Why can’t he just eat and be happy for the next fifteen years? Please?

Haven’t we earned a little happiness after all? This November it is two years since Apollon crashed and burned, and died within a month, never leaving me a fighting chance, even though my vet and I fought with everything we had. Two years, is that what we get?

Or can Saleem please come out on the other side of this, never having to go through this horrible surgery? I’ll worry for the rest of his life, but that’s okay. As long as he is here, as long as he is happy and pain free, I’ll find a way to handle it. I will.

Just don’t let him have complications. Please. Don’t let him need surgery.

After all, the tooth broke at the beginning of August. It’s too late now, to get infected. It is. It has to be… The vet said he was fine on September 10th. Why is he eating funny now?

I am not going to get much sleep tonight… And add to that, I just discovered that Apocalipse is finally changing his “four year” teeth and it kind of looks… iffy. The new tooth is not pushing the old tooth away as it should, it seems to be growing out next to the old tooth instead. That could be annoying…

But well, we will see. This evening, I am babysitting my mom’s dog, who cannot be alone at any time, and who has spent the last four hours whimpering because I am the wrong mommy. Maybe I am just a little frazzled right now. I think I should just watch My Little Pony on Netflix and stop thinking so much.

Happy Wednesday everyone. I will return shortly, in a better mood, that is a promise.  By the way, the treatment I got for Tarids and her skin infection is WORKING! I’ll make sure to get pictures of her soon, without a bald spot in her face. So on that happy note, time to watch some cartoons… And wait for my mom to come and get her dog. It’s a Mexican hairless, by the way, with hair, so it’s kind of excused, being so small, there can’t be a lot of brain space… I am sure that if you Google “unintelligent” there must be a picture of this particular dog as the perfect explanation…

No, to be fair, he has been good today, not nearly as annoying to watch as he usually is. And that is saying a lot.

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About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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