I don’t believe it is a secret that HIM is one of my all time favorite bands. I kind of grew up with their music, alongside The Doors, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles and Pink Floyd, you know, all of my mother’s music, which I easily adopted. HIM was my own though. From my time. I found them myself and my passion for their music never died out over the years.
Sure, I like some of their albums more than others, I am not into that whole blind devotion kind of thing, they even released an electronic album once, I refused to buy, feeling that they were killing the soul of their own songs, by even making an album like that. I guess what I am blindly devoted to, is the heart and soul I always found in HIM’s music.
I won’t lie, as a teenager, I had a lot of fun, internet stalking the guys. Back when their website was actually running, I spent hours there, every week, (mostly because of my agonizing slow internet connection- still haven’t forgiven them for the graphic of the Dark Light album- it completely killed my server,) talking to other fans, and keeping up with everything the band ever did.
Or, what they chose to release on their website.
I met some of my best friends, including fellow author Noel Heart, through my passion for HIM. The online groups, especially on face book, has stolen years of my life, talking about the band and the music, or simply youtubing interviews with the guys.
Why? I don’t know. The music speaks for itself, it always did. There should be no need to watch interviews or to keep up with every move the band members make, who they are dating and when it’s their birthday. I guess, when I love something, I want to understand what makes it tick. I was always curious about human behavior and I won’t lie, Ville, (the singer,) has a very special way with words, that always made me a little jealous.
Truth be told, I have met some of the craziest people, (no offence,) through the HIM pages online as well. If I thought from time to time, that I was obsessed, I was clearly mistaken. I guess that is one of the great things about the internet. You are never the worst… There is always someone doing everything better than you, even obsessing better…
Lately, I haven’t been keeping up at all. I hardly even bothered to find out how this year’s Helldone festival had worked out, even if it is one of the biggest HIM events of the year. Somehow, there has been so much drama around the band lately, at least from where I am sitting, I kind of lost my interest, not for their music, but for the whole internet stalking thing.
And then Gas, the drummer, released a statement, saying that he quit the band, just yesterday. https://www.facebook.com/490990310995711/photos/a.492695467491862.1073741828.490990310995711/768984823196257/?type=1&theater
It wasn’t a complete shock to me, to be honest, but it is still quite a blow. HIM has been a very tight band for 16 years of my life, one of the constants that has kept me going through Oasis, The Ark and My Chemical Romance breaking up. At least HIM seemed to love each other, still… And I guess they still do, only Gas is leaving.
So what then? As much as I respect his need for creativity, as much as it would have killed me too to work with a guy as talented as Ville, having no need to write anything myself, (the horror, I would not have lasted five minutes,) I have to wonder about the band. What happens next?
Some days I wish I didn’t have an internet connection.
Remember the time, when they actually played music on MTV and they had a news section? I watched it every day, just to know what was going on in the music world, but you never really knew, then. Everything had some delay on it, because it wasn’t instantly posted online. It meant too, that when a guy left a band, before the news hit the TV stations, the band had usually worked out what to do about it, and you were given the bad news along with “what happens next.”
This is a strange kind of limbo to be in, waiting for news, and at the same time, not really wanting to hear them. What if the band does fall apart over this? I checked their official face book page and it only said that they were looking into replacing Gas by a drumming machine. Which is where I am thinking, “oh snap, they don’t even bother to look for a new guy…” That can’t be good, as far as their plans for the future is concerned, can it?
And so what, if HIM should break up? I will still have all their CD’s, (well, most of them,) the music is still beautiful and it has been with me through some of the hardest times in my life. That won’t chance. Why would it matter, really? It is just a band…
Only, I still have some of their posters on my walls, I have the heartagram painted on everything, even the saddle pad I used when Apollon and I were competing, I mean, I adore this band in every possible way. They have been a huge part of my life, always. I even (not too vaguely,) referred to them in some of my books…
So, this is coming from a crazy fan.
Best of luck, Gas. I know, I will miss you behind that drum kit. I hope that whatever you do next, will make you happy. No matter what happens next, it won’t change the past and how much HIM has meant to me, and will always mean to me.
But I guess that is life. Nothing stays the same forever. And maybe it is a good thing, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. Who can tell in advance, really?