My Kind Of Crazy

I had my head scanned this evening. I know, you are all thinking, “about time…” But not that kind of scan. I don’t think my kind of crazy shows up on an MR, does it?

Anyway, just to prove my point, I have to write about the experience, because those MR machines are actually very creepy. Especially when you have spent the last week, watching Supernatural none stop.

So, first off, we all know that hospitals in general, are no good. Especially in series like Supernatural. They are creepy places, where the doctors may or may not be ghouls, or you name it, so you better keep an eye out as soon as you enter.

Also, I noticed that in Supernatural you have a tendency to survive if you are a blond girl, and let’s face it. I am not that blonde at the moment, which is kind of bad, if we are calculating my chances of surviving.

Anyway, being scanned at night is kind of a funny experience, because mostly, the hospital is empty. The information desk is closed, and there is a sign in the window, telling you to follow the little arrows on the floor.  They will get you where you need to be. And so, you walk down the empty halls, seeing a lonely person sitting in a corner once in a while, following the arrows, and only feeling it a little creepy, when your colour arrows take you down. Into the basement. Follow the arrows.

Nice. Arriving at the basement, there was actually people waiting down there, but it didn’t take long before a nurse showed up and told me and two others to follow a different kind of arrows, deeper into the basement.

You know the doors they have at hospitals? How they do not open when you push them? Or kick at them? How you have to find the bloody little string on the wall and pull it, to open the fucking doors? Yeah, it took me, and my fellow “orange arrows,” quite a while to find our way, because we weren’t clever enough to open the doors…

Once we did find the new place, feeling much like we had just been separated from the herd, which is never a good thing, we were picked up very quickly and I was led to a room and told to leave my cell phone behind.

I know, magnetic machines and stuff, but are you kidding me?

I am alone, in the basement of an almost abandoned hospital, and you want me to leave my cell phone behind? Right, okay. I am cool. I am not in Supernatural. There are no monsters at this hospital…

So, leaving my phone behind, feeling very much like I just lost my chance to call for back up, I followed the young doctor into the MR machine and well, let me tell you… If you are the least bit claustrophobic, don’t ever get a head scan.

You lie down, and they give you a pair of ear phones on, “so they can play me some music, so the noises from the machine won’t be too uncomfortable,” blocking out most ordinary sounds from the room, like footsteps, for instance… And they place a kind of mask thing over your head, they tie down, so you literally can’t get up on your own accord. Of course, they give you a panic button too, you can push if you are freaking out… And then they shove you into the tube and walks away. And you can’t hear them walking away, because of the ear phones… and you just know that even if all you see, is the machine, most of your body is not in it… It is out there, tied down, ready for all kinds of monsters to jump at you…


Now, the machine itself really does make a lot of noises. A lot of different noises. It changes from sounding like a machine gun, to an alarm, to a siren. Growing up in Denmark, where we still test out sirens every year, all over the country, and with parents and grandparents, greatly traumatized by the war, the sound of a siren, is usually enough to make me feel horrible. Being tied down, stuffed in a tube, in the basement of an empty hospital, that is not the sound I was hoping to hear. Not even a little bit…

I will say though, I wasn’t freaking out too much. Because right about then, I started wondering. What if they could see my thoughts on that scan? That’s a thought that will make you stop thinking right away.

I know they can’t. Still. I started focusing on the music they played in my ear phones and I quickly found something else to focus on. Stupid, Danish music… I mean, come on. How nice is that? Couldn’t they at least have some English music? What if they have someone in for a scan, who doesn’t speak Danish? Then they have to lie there, listening to machine guns, and words they don’t understand? We are such a bloody immigrant- friendly people… No, wait…

As it is, 20 min. in an MR machine goes by rather quickly when you have a mind like mine. I am ever always best on my own and I can easily pass the time. The elderly lady from my old stable is, I believe the one, who read me the best. She told me once, that she liked having me at her stable, because I could do any kind of work, all day, as long as she didn’t speak to me. If she just left my head alone, I was the perfect little worker. And she is right. Just leave my mind alone. It doesn’t like to interact with people.

So, that was today’s horror show, I guess. Which goes to show exactly how my mind works. I mean, going to a hospital, having my head scanned and all I could think about was all the potential storylines that was playing out before my eyes…

I should start writing again. I really should. I will. As soon as I am done, watching Supernatural… Just note, if you are a sensitive person, like me, it is really not a good series to watch. It will make you suspicious about everything. Especially if you are a writer with a mind that tends to run off on its own.

But yeah, I am sure that won’t show up on the scan. My crazy. I don’t think there has been invented a scan for that just yet. Fingers crossed, they never will.

Oh, and for all of you who think that I am just making fun of the whole thing, to keep from worrying about the results of the scan, I can easily say, that is not the case. This really is how my mind works at all times. I just can’t help it.

The only thing I might be worried about is if they do find something, and it needs to be removed. I mean, would that change me? Make my mind less imaginative? Because that, I could not handle. But I am sure that only happens in TV series…


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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4 Responses to My Kind Of Crazy

  1. jen says:

    Okay, now I’m freaking out, worrying about you…gotta go back and catch up on your posts to see what I missed. And I had my head scanned…twice. One CAT scan, one MRI. I know exactly what you’re talking about! Always a basement, always creepy.

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