About Real Women

It’s summer. Social media are drowning in pictures, encouraging fat girls to go get a bikini and not care what anyone thinks about their bodies. Oh, did I say fat? I am sorry. You can’t call anyone fat these days. That’s hurtful.

But you can call people who are not fat, stick thin, and tell them that they are not real women, because they don’t have curves… because if you are not fat, you can just sit back and take whatever abuse is thrown at you.

To be honest, I like the idea that people do get to go to the beach in a bikini and not care what people think of them, but it is getting tiresome, from where I am sitting, how allowed it is, to hate on those who are thin. And I mean hate. Most of those “real women has curves” posts, are truly mean, and degrading, to anyone who doesn’t have fat on their bones.

Which makes me wonder, why is it that we can’t just support each other, without putting someone else down in the process? “Before anorexia, there was a thing called beauty.” Wow, thanks. Because all skinny women are anorectic. Of course they are. (And if they were, they would need help, not bullying, because that is a serious disease.)

It is very embedded in our society to think that way though. I have always been skinny. All my life, I have had to listen to mean spirited and hurtful comments like these ones, and not just from random strangers on social media, but from my friends and family as well, not to mention every single doctor I have ever come across.

When I went to have my finger operated, the doctor and all the nurses had to comment on how low my BMI was, and not a single one of them failed to ask me if I was eating correctly?

When I was a kid, and my mom took me to a doctor, she had to fight tooth and nail, not to have the doctors lock me up for eating disorder observation, even if we just came in with a sprained ankle. Because really, who is skinny these days?

Not real women, that is for sure. Only sick people. Glad we got that settled.

What I don’t understand is how fat people (and society) can be so sensitive about their weight and their appearance and about never using the word “fat,” and still feel that they have the right to put someone else down for not looking like them. Wasn’t it tolerance they were trying to promote with their posts? And let’s face it, if you are fat, then “fat” is not a mean word, it is an accurate description of your current state, much like “thin” applies to thin people. Only you can’t shame people for being fat, but you sure can use “thin” anyway you want.

Even Hollywood agrees. I come across it all the time, in most movies. How the fat, sweet girl, is bullied by the evil, skinny diva. Any Highschool movie has that kind of theme.  To be honest, my life has been the complete opposite.

All my life, in school and after, I was bullied by fat girls, instantly hating me, because I was thin. I do have some heavy friends these days, (see, didn’t call them fat, because you can’t do that,) but they are not many. Fat people usually don’t like me. And they usually feel entitled to throw mean comments about my weight at me, when I least expect it.

It gets tiresome. It really does. Luckily, I am turning 33 this year and I have finally started gaining weight, so maybe one day, I’ll join the club of fatties, and can start thinking about myself as a real woman.

Wouldn’t that be great, at long last?


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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2 Responses to About Real Women

  1. jen says:

    If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I was anorexic when I was a teen….And then there are my kiddos…Kid 1’s friends call her “Pasty Twig”, which is crazy to me, because she’s way more muscular and athletic than I ever was…not a twig at all. And the docs wanted to label Kid 2 as a “failure to thrive” child, because her weight was always below average. Some of it was her dislike of food (due to chewing and issues with SPD), but even now that she eats better, she’s still thin. That’s exactly how my hubby and I were as kids and we grew up just fine! It would definitely be better if society realized that people come in all shapes and sizes and that much of the time it’s not a matter of eating habits or diet…it’s just how people are built.

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