So, the other night, I remembered what I used to do, when I was sick like this, when I was younger. I used to be rather heavily treated for my asthma. Back in the old days, I would get some medication to open my airways, when I was coughing like I am right now. Something I could drink, because any inhalation powder simply doesn’t work on me, when my lungs mess up.

I am not one for asking for help much, in fact I have to be pretty far gone to reach out to someone, but since I had not been sleeping for days, because my coughing kept me awake, I was getting desperate, so I called the night watch doctor at the hospital.

Really, I knew what kind of medication I needed, and it was about midnight. I never expected that they would bother to see me. But the guy that answered the phone turned out to be a special kind of… Never mind. Mustn’t speak ill of people. He just followed the rules. I know that. Sort of.

So I told him that I was coughing, and that I used to get this medication when that happened, and that I knew that even though I have been doing without treatment for a long while now, I wouldn’t pull through this time, without help.

He proceeded to answer in a way I never imagined.

“Well, you can’t have asthma if you have gone this long without treatment.”

“Oh, okay. Well, asthma doesn’t just go away, does it?”

“No. But if you have UNTREATED asthma, then we sure can’t just treat you!”

Now, that kind of logic, I simply can’t argue with. I mean, what does one answer to that? Last time I had pneumonia, it was kind of untreated as well, until it… got treated? I won’t lie, he caught me completely by surprise.

While my head was still swirling to take in his reasoning, between my chocking fits, he continued to tell me that the kind of medication I was asking for, was for children. I sure would need inhalation powder. Drinking it was only for kids that couldn’t figure out how to use an inhaler.

Biting my tongue pretty hard to not insult his education, and inform him that I have been living with me for 30 years now, and I have had more doctors look at me over the years, than he could ever imagine and this “kids treatment,” was what they all came up with, I elected to diplomatically ask him what I should do then, if I wanted to breathe?

Sticking to the rules, he told me that I would have to go to the hospital and have a doctor look at me. He could even give me an appointment at one am.

I won’t lie, having to go out into the freezing cold, in the middle of the night, to sit and wait at the hospital, when you are sick, does feel pretty much like torture. But clearly, there was no arguing with this guy, about my untreated asthma…

At the hospital, the doctor looked up my papers, listened briefly to my  respiratory system and gave me exactly the medication I was asking for. I believe I was with the doctor for a round total of 60 seconds.

Sometimes you just got to scream… Or, if I could breathe, I would… Luckily, I couldn’t…

So I went by the pharmacy and got my meds and now I remember why I am untreated as much as possible. I HATE asthma medication. It makes my hands shake, like you wouldn’t believe it. Visibly shake. I hate the feeling of being unable to control my fine motor skills. Not to mention how it sets off my heart… But anyway, I am counting on being able to breathe in a day or two, so that’s nice….

Got to look on the bright side, right?


About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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