The Real World

Alright, I’m still here. Sorta.

I got the Crystal Empire update for the My Little Pony game. I guess I’m one of the lucky few who got it for Android. Aston and my friend’s didn’t get it yet. Needless to say, that is killing a bit of the fun, exploring this new world, when I have to leave my mates behind. After all, friendship is magic. I do hope they get it fixed soon. Go, GameLoft, go, go, go!

But, I have spent the last two days playing My Little Pony, moving into the Crystal Empire, un- crystallizing ponies, gathering crystal balls, you name it. Obsessing. That’s what I do best. I even quit the gym yesterday, because I was so close to unlocking the game…

Yes, I am a professional nerd, if you guys didn’t know that already. So, basically, I’ve been watching Supernatural, while playing My Little Pony obsessively for the last week. And I know, I’m half way through season 8… Season 12 starts in 12 days. I wonder what I’m gonna watch the last week, after I finish season 11 again… 😛

I am a bit surprised by how much Sam is growing on me these days. I used to be such a Dean girl, and watching the first 3 seasons, I still was, but now… Not so much. And honestly, once I stopped obsessing about how evil everyone was to Dean, the show got a whole lot better. I didn’t hate season 7 this time, because for the first time, I was on Sam and Cas’ side. That’s new…

I do realize that I sound pretty insane when I let myself get lost in a TV show or a game, but I really don’t care. I was at the gym the other day, and one of the trainers saw me catch a Pokemon inside the gym, (it happens, they have a serious rat problem, just saying,) and she laughed for ten minutes. I do find that pretty amusing.

To me, playing games, disappearing from the real world, is how I get by. I’ll never be too old to play Pokemon, I’ll never be ashamed to be a pegasister and I’ll never tire of watching Sam and Dean fight the world.

Because really, it beats the real world, most days.

I am a writer. I create worlds. I create persons. I live inside my head.

If not for my horses, I would have no need for the real world at all. I could disappear without them. I truly could. But then, once in a while, the real world comes knocking, shattering the walls of my reality. Sometimes, you hit one of those crystallizing moments where you know why you are not going to disappear. Why you keep fighting.

And even if it matters a great deal to me, hearing Frank tell Dean to “decide to be fine until the end of the week, and do it with a smile, because you are alive and that is your job,” there is nothing like realizing that there is someone in the real world who still depends on you.

Ablaze had a stomach ache the other day. Nothing too bad, but if you asked him, he was totally miserable. So, I figured I’d put My Little Pony in my pocket for a while, and walk with him. Which raises a bit of a problem, because I haven’t taught Ablaze to follow a rope of a halter. He always follows me around without any need for force. What then, if he is sick, and needs to walk? Would he still follow me?

He thought about it, I’ll give him that. But I did place a rope around his neck, to drag him along, if he suddenly wanted to roll. (Horses can’t roll if they have a colic, because it can kill them, so you gotta keep them on their hooves at all times.) He followed me and the rope reluctantly, looking very much like a hanged cat. He had no idea why I was suddenly asking him to walk like that, and did he mention that he was feeling horrible? Poor, poor Ablaze.

I chose to take him away from the others, by walking him to the far end of the pasture. I figured that if I took him as far away as  I could, he would run back to the others once I released him, and if he just had a bit of gas, it would probably be released while he ran back. If it was worse than that, I’d know, and I’d know to call the vet. So, we walked away from the herd.

He followed slowly, with the rope around his neck, clearly mystified by my strange behavior. Once we were as far away as we could get I  removed the rope and started walking back to the others. He followed.

I had not expected that. I had truly expected him to explode and run off. I mean, this is a 3 year old Arabian, untrained, untamed, never removed from his herd. And he followed me.

So, I jumped and ran, figuring that if I challenged him a bit, he would explode, right?

Nope. He stayed. Right by my side. I ran, he ran. I stopped, he stopped.

I know, we have been doing this since he was a few days old. I always played with him like that, but never away from the others. He always had his mom or Saleem close by. This time, it was just him and me, and he… stayed.

This untrained, untamed, young horse, he stayed. With me. Despite his stomach ache, despite the fact that horses always feel unsafe away from the herd, especially when they feel sick. He stayed.

I ended up running with him for ten minutes. He was so amazing. He turned when I turned, he stopped when I stopped, and he never touched me, never pressured me, nothing.

I am astounded. I know that I chose not to train this horse, because I saw a spark in him so pure, that I could not make myself taint it. I never asked him to do anything and here he was, 3 years old, being the most well trained, attentive, amazing horse I have ever had the fortune to have in my life.

And, because it ALL came from him, because I never asked for anything, but he gave it to me anyway, the spark I see in him is still pure. He is still wild. He is still free. He just chose me.

If that is not one of those moments that snaps you back to the real world and makes you realize that maybe it is not so bad after all, then I don’t know what is.

I know that I keep joking that he is both Poseidon and Apollon, reborn in one, perfect, little Arabian. In a moment like that, I do feel that every mistake I made with those two has somehow been erased. At least I did this one right. By doing nothing at all.

This evening, my boys and I hit another crystallizing moment. We have something terrifying at the new stable. We have, wait for it, a… WATER CUP!

Yeah. Imagine that.

Saleem and Apocalipse had a water cup when they grew up. Apocalipse used to play with it, just like his mom did, and soak the entire stable in water in a matter of hours. They know what it is. Ablaze and Marble, don’t. I am unsure if Tardis knows. But, long story short, none of us know how to use a water cup these days. In fact, it is terrifying!

So, we have water barrels, like we used to. But I keep poking that cup, just to get them used to the sound and maybe interested in poking it themselves. I had Ablaze and Apocalipse in the house tonight, or, Apocalipse in the house and Ablaze looking in. When I had played with the cup for a while, Apocalipse came up to me, mostly to make me stop, I believe. But Ablaze had been looking, from the safety of the great outside. He stuck his head in and poked the cup.

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Apocalipse instantly started biting it, tearing at the isolation around the pipes. His name is not a coincidence… A wee bit destructive, that one… But Ablaze… Licked the water.

Like a cat.

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I mean, horses don’t drink by licking. Ablaze was trying to figure out what I was doing with this thing. He saw me, and he… tried to copy what I did with my hand. If that is not beautiful, I don’t know what is.

And if that is not enough to give the real world a chance, I guess nothing is.

I used to wonder what would happen to me, once Poseidon was not here anymore. I guess I finally have my answer. I would get him back, the way he should have been.

Wild and free, and unbroken, but still desperately clinging to me, keeping me real.

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But now, back to the Crystal Empire. Yes, I bought Sunburst. He is one of the few G1 ponies I still haven’t added to my collection. Now, he is mine and I can play with him and poke him and look at him whenever I want. That is pretty awesome too.

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Oh, and if you guys would quit playing the flying game, I’d love to win Thunderlane… Just saying. I’m actually in the top ten at the moment. Please don’t kick me out.

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About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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