A lot of things has been going on lately, most of which I am still debating with myself if I even want to write about on this blog, which is why I’ve been so quiet. I am finding it rather difficult to find little everyday stories to share, so I just haven’t.
On the plus side, I’ve finished book four in the Legacy series, Torchlight, and I am currently running book three, Winterflame, through one last time, preparing for release early next year. So, yes, as lost as I may be sometimes, in real life, my stories never leave me. Nor do these guys.
Look at that horse… The bay one… I still can’t get over how perfect he turned out ❤ No offence to Princess Marble and the others, but Apocalipse is truly the perfect horse in my eyes.
Marble just wont grow up. Her shoulder keeps looking frail and her back is impossibly vulnerable, despite the fact that she is 5 years old this year. But then again, Apocalipse looked just like her, last year, when he was 5, so I guess it isn’t abnormal. My brain is still adjusting to how frail a 5 year old horse is and how insane it seems to be riding it. I just can’t let go of that part of me that keeps saying that they should be broken in, both of them, by now and that I am somehow failing them, by not making sure they are, because what if… What if I get hit by a bus and dies and they aren’t ridden and able to compete at the age of 5? Who would want a horse like that?
And then I tell myself that I am not going to live my life, as if tomorrow is going to be my last day. I did that with Poseidon and Apollon and it was killing me. Us. No, I am going to raise these guys as if we were going to live forever and I want their bodies to grow up and be strong and fully developed before they are asked to carry anything. I guess at some point, you have to let go of that fear of failing and just do what you think is best.
I wish I knew how to let it go. Look at that face. This is my foal. My baby. He has complete faith in me. He is so open, so trusting… How can I not be terrified of failing him?
Oh yeah, the snow went away. Now it’s warm again. So warm, in fact, that Apocalipse is getting a hint of an eye infection. He always does that when we have a warm wind blowing across the pasture in the fall. Never fails. But the new pasture is holding up much better than I had feared it would, and aside from a minor abscess in one of Marble’s hooves, their hooves has never been better. I just trimmed all of them myself, all alone, without Aston to hold them or help out for the first time, and they were amazingly well behaved, which I think is because they feel safe here. I never imagined I could stand in the middle of a pasture with Marble and trim her hooves without drama.
All my going to the gym has been paying off as well. I hardly got any bruises from trimming them this time, which is rather amazing. I am actually getting strong enough to do it without adjusting my position all the time and placing their hooves on the wrong spots on my legs. So, yeah, a few things is working out for me. I hardly dare say it, for fear of tempting fate.
We are running bloodsamples on Tardis sometime next week, I think, which is pretty interesting. I really think that the Cushings medication she has been on is working, but it will be good to see it on paper as well and to check that we have the dosage right.
I’ll be sure to update when I know more. And maybe somehow write a little on some more personal stuff at some point. Still twisting that in my head. Until then, these pictures of the misty sunrise on my pasture, will have to do. We are still here. And all in all, we are actually doing good. I just gotta wrap my head around it.
That always seems to be the problem, doesn’t it?