Zumba

It’s been a while since I’ve had the time to write anything at all, so it’s not just this blog that has been silent. Or, well, my head is never silent, I always feel my characters following me around, waiting for me to get back to writing their story. But, that is so not what this post is about.

No, it’s about Zumba. Ha, yes, you read that right. I started working out about 6 months ago, and one of the things I’ve found most challenging is Zumba. Or, most of the dance routines they have at my gym. So, naturally, I got kind of obsessed, because it bothers me that I suck at it.

The funny thing about Zumba is that you have to read people. The instructor, generally, gives no instructions, she just does her moves, and you copy her and hang on. I could feel my little brain cells jamming in my head at first, running around in wild panic up there.

I was pretty surprised by that, because all my life, I have been reading body language. Horses, people, it has been my job, more than anything else, to read body language, and respond to it, fast. But to copy it… Oh, my.

I mean, the horses I have worked with, I have had to read them and respond to them instantly, to avoid getting killed or injured, and mostly, I haven’t failed at that. (I’m not dead yet…) And I have had to read the owners of the horses as well, to help them figure out what they did wrong, if their horses were “acting up.”

Long story short, I thought I was good at body language, and responding to it. Turns out, I am a ninja horse, and a lousy human.

But Zumba is fun. I can always feel my spirits getting up whenever I dance, no matter if I am lousy at it or not, and by now, after 6 months of practically making sure to dance almost every day, I am not horrible at it anymore. Some instructors are easier to follow than others, but still. My brain is starting to catch up, making my body respond to human body language. Imagine that.

One thing that caught me off guard about Zumba, is how sensual it is. Again, some instructors more than others, but they usually all include shaking your hips and shaking your chest, and stuff like that, which is way out of my comfort zone.

And, add to that, you kinda have to find your inner girl, as most of the moves are very feminine as well. That is scary, for someone like me, who has been the alpha on my pasture since I was a teenager. Shaking my hips and twirling on the spot? Come on, that would get me killed in a second, if I did that next to Poseidon… Or Marble… And shaking my chest, does that mean that I have to acknowledge that I actually have breasts now? Cause mostly, I’ve been ignoring that since I was a teenager. They were ever, always, just in the way, when I was working with the horses.

So yes, this has been an amazing journey for me. And it’s not over yet. I ran into a male instructor lately, and he is, well… Very hard to follow, first of all, and second, he is waaaaay out of my league. I mean, if I thought I had found my inner girl, I realized I was wrong when I came across him. He is so feminine, I can only stare at him in wonder, most of the time.

One of the downsides to always reading body language, is that even if I have a hard time copying it, I pick up on every little detail, all the time and this guy is so amazingly distracting, I don’t think I’ll ever learn to follow his routines.

So, of course, I must follow his classes obsessively. I cannot accept that I am being out-girled by man.

He is a very popular instructor, especially with the old ladies, which is something else that has me distracted quite a lot. They all seem to find him adorable, and when he high-fives them, they blush and talk about how soft his hands are, which has my brain instantly jumping to all kinds of gay fan fiction I may have accidentally read. I can’t help it. He has soft hands. Come on… How is that not going to make one miss a step?

And it’s not like he is especially subtle about his sexuality. He easily spends an entire class flirting with a man outside the window, somehow persuading him to join us in the end, which I can’t help but be impressed by. He sure got skill. But I cannot focus on dancing when the entire AO3 (Archive Of Our Own, the place for fan fiction writers- don’t ever go there,) and Tumblr are screaming in my head.

That is my problem, of course, that his sexuality distracts me, and I am so trying not to let it. I will do better. I will.

He was filling in for one of my favorite instructors the other day, and it was kinda funny seeing him in an environment that wasn’t his own. At his own classes, he is very confident and very sensual, and every one in the room stare at him like he is a lost puppy, except for me, who is trying not to laugh when he says stuff you only hear in the gay community, and no one gets it. He speaks English, so I have a sneaking suspicion that the old ladies don’t get half of what he is saying, and that the other half, you have to be a crazy person like me, to get what they implies.

Anyway, as a sub teacher, (seriously, no pun intended,) he was way more shy, and the girls at this class mostly looked like I feel when I look at him. He is out-girling us? What the…

And again, I am way more busy studying others than actually keeping up with the dance moves. Damn my brain. One day, I’ll learn to ignore him as well, and just dance. One day.

I’m not sure there is a point to this post. Mostly, I just wanted to sit down and write again, other than go out and battle pokemon gyms with my team, or hang out at a fitness center, trying to learn how to be a human. Mostly, I am just delaying opening the file for the book I am currently writing on, because I know I’ll have to make some tough decisions about the story and the characters soon, and I really don’t want to do that, so I dodge as much as possible.

In all fairness, Zumba has helped me a lot lately, as I’ve been going through a tough time and it has never failed to make me smile, one way or another. That is kind of priceless, to me. The boyfriend and I are moving in a few months, which means that I’ll have a lot longer to travel to the fitness center, but I really hope I won’t quit it. Somehow, learning to be human, can’t be that bad, can it? And I still have a lot of studying to do…

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About Starstone

-Owned by horses. Writer, Photographer, Director, Musician.
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