I’m going to Be Loud this weekend.
For those of you who don’t know what that is; it is a Les Mills fitness event. I am not sure what possessed me to sign up for that, except that an old friend- my oldest friend, actually- and I have had fun working out together in the past, only… We don’t go to the same gym on every day basis.
Why? Well… She is pretty serious about her training, and the gym she is using have most of Les Mills programs- unlike my gym.
I would say that I am pretty serious about my training as well, and I have considered changing gyms for a long time now.
Don’t get me wrong. I like my gym. I like most of the trainers, a lot of the people who goes there, and we do have some of Less Mills programs. And not to sound snobbish, but I like them more than the other classes my gym offers, simply because when I go to Less Mills BodyPump for instance, I know what to expect. I know what weight to use, how much repetition, and so forth. It just makes it easier for me, to push myself. When I go to another class, where it is up to the instructor to create the program, I never know what to expect.
And changing gyms, would allow me to see my friend more. So why not?
Well… Hands down, because of another friend, who is at my gym.
So, since I am not jumping ship right now, I figured that my oldest friend and I could have a fun day killing me at Be Loud.
She is so tough. Like, really, really tough. While we were growing up together, I always felt inadequate next to her. She was always stronger than me, always braver, always prettier… She was always everything I was not. People used to think we were twins, because we looked so alike, but for us, the differences between us were huge.
I know, that she always felt that she came up short next to me as well, because I did good at school, without even trying, and even though she was the one who ended up getting an education while I dropped out, she still feels less intellectual, because I became a writer.
Friendship is weird, isn’t it?
We have known each other for 30 years, and we both feel diminished in each other’s presence.
I am seriously terrified, going with her to Be Loud. I am sure I am going to die and she is going to be awesome, as always.
With Pokemon Go community day coming up this Saturday, I nearly bailed on her. I mean, come on. I can always work out. I can always try the rest of Less Mills programs. I am not changing gyms anyway, right?
I spoke to her briefly the other day, confirming a few details about the train and such. Even thought we just exchanged three texts, she managed to mention that at least four of the programs includes choreography and that she expected me to rock those.
She knows I’m dancing, (or trying to,) at my gym, but it just hit me when she wrote that. As much as I feel inadequate next to her… She is kind of intimidated, going with me.
Because we are so different. Because we do things differently. Because people always compared us. WE always compared us.
Friendship is strange. If it really is friendship between us.
She was always more like a sister. Like there is this unspoken bond between us, that life and time cannot break, no matter what happens, or how little we have in common. Or how much we compete.
So, yeah. I’m going to Be Loud this weekend. And it is going to be tons of fun, and I will be dying, even if I have tried to get myself ready since we signed up. And luckily, I have the best friend in the world, who is going to look after my Pokemon account(s) for community day… (Thank you thank you thank you :* )
And I’m still terrified. And still surprised that she thinks that I will be better than her. At anything.
I guess we should talk at some point.
But we won’t. That is the basis for our relationship. We never talk. Not really. Words always did more damage than good between us anyway.
Friendship is weird.